Once upon a time there was a young man named... oh dear, let's see... I've always been terrible with names. Oh, that's right it was Gregory. Once upon a time there was a young man named Gregory (he didn't like to be called Greg, he preferred Gregory and was a bit of a snob about it) and his favorite thing in the world was bubble wrap. Which was silly because he didn't actually encounter it that much, not being one to carefully pack fragile objects very often.
Gregory worked in an office, which was very boring. There is a formula in offices for stimulating boredom. Fluorescent lighting... that short, tightly looped, blue-grey carpet on the floors as well as on the cubicle partitions... that low murmur of small talk and business talk mingling with the click of ergonomic keyboards, the squeak of cheap desk chairs, the digital pings of telephones and fax machines, and the occasional bubbling from the water cooler... the smell of plastic and paper and toner and mediocre coffee and fast food... all of it made Gregory want to crawl under his desk and die.
So he did.
The end.
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