Princess Normal

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess... well, she was mostly beautiful anyway... I mean, most people thought she was reasonably attractive... she certainly wasn't UGLY. But she was definitely human.

Anyway, once upon a time there was this princess. Sometime... well, ok, it was pretty much now... I mean the present. And she wasn't really a princess, she was just... her. Princesses are mostly out of date these days, especially in America (well, they were always out of date in America... real princesses anyway). But she wasn't the princess-y type either. She was far to practical.

But for all her practicality she had a romantic imagination that sometimes (often) got her into trouble. Not serious trouble... not REAL trouble... but trouble in her mind and in her heart. Despite her dedication to keeping a level head, she was most practiced at having a broken heart.

But she was not to be pitied! No, sir! With the aid of time, determination, and discipline, the heart will indeed respond to the mind! Practice makes perfect, she would practice bliss! She would practice bliss or she would die.

Not to be dramatic or anything. But when life becomes truly unbearable, the only reasonable choice is to die. Life had never become truly unbearable, but had come close enough to be quite legitimately terrifying.

But we digress.

She bared her shoulders on sunny days, but wore sunscreen to avoid the cancer. Today was not sunny. It was snowing. Rather, it had been snowing a few minutes ago, but had stopped. It was the day after the end of the world, and everything continued as normal...

As normal...

As normal...

As normal...

As normal as could be... as normal as ever was... which is to say, not very normal at all...
She was in a coffee shop. Someone was singing and playing piano. She had ordered beer. She drained her glass and put on her coat. She drained her glass, set it down, put on her hat, covered her bare shoulders with a linen scarf, and put her coat on one arm at a time... no, both arms together, and zip.

She walked to work. Even fairytale princesses have to work... if they want to pay the rent. It was too cold to risk not paying the rent. There was too much snow. End of the world snow.

What a beautiful apocalypse.

1, 2, 3 poetry

1, 2, 3 look at me

2, 3, 4 I want more
I always want more
Living is wanting more

3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Doing this and thinking this and feeling this again again again again

8, 9, 10 again again

This isn't poetry, this isn't fiction, this isn't a song... obviously not a drawing.

I have so much to say and nothing to say and everything in the world to say... to you.

I can't be your friend.

But I don't want to go.

I had this crazy dream. There were so many people in your house. I felt out of place, but so welcomed at the same time. You showed me a picture of this crazy asteroid that had hit England thousands of years ago. They used it to build the foundations of a church. But it wasn't really an asteroid, it was a spaceship. And it had come from the creators of this universe. But as far as anybody knew, there was never anyone on it. Just a ridiculously advanced inter-universal spaceship that looked mostly like a big ol' rock with some little lights on it. The picture you had was huge and heavy. You needed help rolling it up in your bedroom rug (you had a bedroom rug, your apartment was huge and AMAZING and had this incredible balcony with an incredible view). I cautioned against using the rug, as people would think you were hiding a body. That's how heavy this picture was. I felt like I had tricked you somehow, but not about the rug...

I'm tired of wondering. I'm tired of the emotional drama and the intense complicated-ness. I'm tired of the imbalance, and I'm tired of how much energy it takes for me to manage these feelings. One way or another, it's time for this to end.